nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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