He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
