Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
