this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
