So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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