ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Randomize