the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
