Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
