If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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