So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
