But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Randomize
