In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I hope my liver is having as much fun as I am
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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