its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
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