Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
