in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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