Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
