rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
