Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
