I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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