Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
