apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
I just found puke in my bra..
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Panties = found
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
