i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
