How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
