I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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