ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
