I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Randomize
