It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I was not drunk enough for that final.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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