yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Randomize
