i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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