I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
