I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
