the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
