alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
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