Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
