Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I think people are normalizing furries
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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