i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
