how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Randomize
