We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Randomize
