Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
