all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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