Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Randomize
