he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
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