there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
