I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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