Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize
