Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
Randomize
