Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
We are all done wearing pants today
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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