How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I don't deserve a penis
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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