i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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