I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
