I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Randomize
