But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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