Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
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