That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
