he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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